


The Third Wheel

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-04
Updated: 2006-03-03
Packaged: 2018-08-15 23:05:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8076388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Tucker has to evaluate his life after believing that Malcolm and John don't love him anymore. (02/14/2003)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: I follow where the plot bunny leads. Some of my stories may be a continuation of earlier fables, but this one is brand new and totally stands alone.  


* * *

Archer hadn't felt this good in a long time. Even though he conked out early last night after drinking a little too much Andorian ale, which turned out to be about ten times stronger than he expected, John awoke totally refreshed, without a trace of hangover. Of course being sandwiched between his two lovers didn't hurt.

And the great feeling continued into breakfast. He had Malcolm sitting next to him, with Trip across the table, and in-between bites of scrambled eggs, the captain was discussing the pro's and con's of Shakespeare's influence on humanity over the centuries with Enterprise's resident Brit. Archer really enjoyed these chats with Malcolm. The armory officer's sharp wit and expanse of knowledge always made their talks more of a debate rather than a discussion and that morning was no exception. They spent several pleasurable minutes talking both sides of the issue, up and down, then a faint hint on unease began to tug at John's consciousness.

John kept up a good front, still giving Malcolm almost everything he had in the discussion, but more and more of his consciousness was switched away from the debate and he started to focus in onto what was wrong. He knew everything was all right with the ship. Enterprise vibrated the way she always did when her engines were healthy and strong and propelling them all over the galaxy, besides the bridge would have called him if anything was wrong.

Eliminating the ship as the source of his disquiet, Archer looked around the table. Malcolm was having a grand time and John felt a flash of pride as he watched the armory officer so openly enjoying himself. It wasn't that long ago that Reed was far too shy to ever express his views in public, much less actively debate them with his captain. Being their lover seemed to bring out the best in Malcolm, a fact which pleased John very much. No, Malcolm wasn't the problem.

Then Archer glanced across the table and immediately identified the source of his misgivings. There was something wrong with Trip.

Now that John was paying attention the warning signs were easy to see. In any normal situation Trip launched himself right into the middle of whatever discussion was around him, not to mention he would put away Chef's scrambled eggs with a passion, but today Trip was doing neither. The engineer was just sitting quietly, toying with his food but hardly ever taking a bite. That was a bad, bad sign. Usually if Trip had some sort of problem he wouldn't hesitate to bring it right out into the open. Sitting around and sulking wasn't Trip's style at all. Something was terribly wrong.

Archer glanced at Malcolm to see if he was picking up on the vibe. Reed had slowed down in his dissertation of Romeo and Juliet, but only because he was beginning to see that Archer's attention had been diverted. Malcolm hadn't discovered the source of the trouble. Not yet anyway.

Archer knew that Reed would feel bad for not noticing Trip's troubles earlier, but Malcolm had only known the engineer for a couple of years and had only been his lover for a few months. Archer had been both, for much longer. The captain promised himself to make sure that Malcolm didn't kick himself later, but that would wait. Right now he had to concentrate on Trip, but it was obvious that the engineer wasn't going to talk without a little prodding so it was time to poke.

"Malcolm...." John interrupted Reed's tirade on King Lear, which the armory officer was giving up on anyway as he finally began to become aware that something there was a definite, negative mood now permeating throughout the room. "What was the first thing I said when you, Trip and I decided to become lovers?"

Malcolm was surprised at the question and had no idea what the bloody hell was going on, but there was one quick way to find out. "You told me that we were a family and if any of us had a problem we shouldn't hesitate to bring it up and the other two would do their damnedest to fix it."

"That's exactly right." Archer turned and sent the full force of his captain's glare onto his engineer. "So come on, Trip. Out with it."

Tucker's head snapped up at the sound of his name. He had been so lost in his own little world ever since John and Malcolm launched into their Shakespeare discussion, and even though he had been hoping that the pair would finally come around to notice that he was actually sitting at the table with them, when it actually happened he was caught flat footed. "Nothin's wrong, Cap'n."

Cap'n. Trip called him Cap'n. Another bad sign. When the three of them were alone Trip usually called him John. "We're not buying that Trip."

"Yes Trip." Malcolm was finally caught up. "Please do tell us what is bothering you. I hate the idea of you being unhappy and I'd like to help repair whatever's wrong if I can."

"I know you would." Trip felt uncomfortable. That fact that his lovers noticed his unease was proof of their devotion to him, a devotion that he shouldn't ever doubt, but he did. Trip saw the other two were waiting for his answer, and Tucker hated himself. He didn't want to confess his true feelings but there was no escape now. "It's just that...I've been kinda feelin' like a third wheel around here, especially after last night."

"Oh, God." Archer's heart sank like a stone. Did something happen last night? John remembered that Trip hadn't drunk much of the ale, he claimed that he didn't like the taste, but Archer had finished his glass, same as Malcolm and the effects were intense. All of the captain's memories of the evening before were pretty hazy. It must have been drastic to cause Trip this much distress, but what the hell happened?

"Trip?" Malcolm didn't remember any better than John did, and the armory officer was suddenly, terribly afraid. "What did we do?"

"It was more what you didn't do." Trip clarified as he sent his mind back to the events, or lack thereof, the night before.

Last night was supposed to be a quiet dinner with just the three of them. The food was great of course, up to Chef's high standards, and the conversation was interesting and funny, as it usually was between the three lovers. Archer's enthusiasm for this mission and his ship permeated every pore of his being and Malcolm's quick wit kept the captain laughing again and again.

Trip felt a tug of jealousy just then, but told himself to get a grip. That he was imagining things. Johnny and Malcolm loved him, he was sure of it. They weren't gonna get so wrapped up in each other that they were gonna forget about him.

The engineer pushed his fear aside and concentrated on enjoying the rest of the evening and for a short time Tucker was able to relax and have fun. The dinner moved onto dessert and then a nightcap of Andorian ale, which Trip passed on, was had by John and Malcolm, then the trio adjourned to Archer's quarters for a session of after dinner lovemaking in the largest bed on the ship. That's when things began to turn sour.

Trip wasn't too alarmed when, after some foreplay kisses to them both, Archer chose Malcolm as his partner to make love to first. They usually took turns, but this time instead of getting off by watching his two lovers like he usually did, Trip felt uneasy. Tucker had never seen Malcolm so happy as he writhed in ecstasy while perched on top of Archer's lap and Trip felt more than a flash of jealousy, wishing he was in Malcolm's place right at that moment.

Trip pushed his envy aside and forced himself to be patient. When Johnny and Malcolm finished, he would get his turn. They would take care of him. They always did. However, it didn't escape Tucker's notice that the two men were oblivious to his presence. Usually either John or Malcolm would sneak looks his way where they were coupling. It was their way of making sure that he stayed involved, but not this time. They were so wrapped up in each other that neither man appeared to know that Trip was in the room.

Tucker's unease grew into dismay as the two men worked up into a frenzy. Finally Malcolm screamed as the two reached their climaxes then the armory officer collapsed against Jonathan, panting and spent, claiming that this was the best sex that he had ever had. The captain held Malcolm tight, enjoying the post-sexual glow.

Finally, Trip thought. It was his turn.

But instead of directing their attention to him, the two men just laid back on the bed, wrapped up in each others arms and fell asleep!

To Tucker, the tableau displayed before him was a vision from his worst nightmare, but try as he might to try to convince himself that this was some sort of devastating dream, deep down the engineer was aware that the images were far too real. Trip hadn't been imagining things. John and Malcolm had been growing closer and now it was to the point where they didn't care if Tucker was in the room with them. They drifted of toward their slumber without him, leaving Tucker flustered, unsatisfied and alone, his body still complaining for it's sexual gratification that was yet unfulfilled, but Trip had no time for that. His mind was on other things.

Trip told himself that he was overreacting. That it was the strong Andorian ale that knocked his lovers out before they could get to him. He told himself that they still loved him, but as watched the couple asleep on the bed, and as his erection softened, Tucker began to feel really afraid, for the very first time. Maybe Trip hadn't been imaging things. Maybe it was true. Maybe the two men that he loved most in this universe didn't really love him anymore.

As Tucker went on and on Archer and Reed grew more and more horrified and embarrassed. Intentionally or not, they had hurt Trip and that action had to be rectified. "Trip, I am so sorry." John's voice actually stammered while he tried to get his apology out. "I swear to you that it was just the booze talking."

"Yes, Trip." Malcolm chimed in, desperate to make his lover understand. "The effect of the alcohol was just too much, otherwise we would have never acted the way we did. You've got to believe me."

That was just it. Trip did believe them. Up to a point. "It's not just last night that's got me bothered."

Archer's fear deepened a little more. Obviously Trip's problems went deeper than the aftereffects of a little Andorian ale. What else had he missed? "Trip?"

Tucker knew what John was asking and struggled to put his feelings into words. He didn't want to hurt his lovers but Trip couldn't go on living this way any longer. "You two get along so well together, and you're both so much smarter than me."

"Yeah, right." Reed laughed at that. "You're a warp drive physicist." Malcolm pointed out. "I'd say that makes you bloody well smart."

"Well, yeah." Trip admitted. Obviously that wasn't the way to put it so Tucker tried another tack. "I guess what I meant to say was that you're both so much more sophisticated than me. You enjoy the same books and the have the same hobbies, in fact, you're both so similar that sometimes I don't think that there's any room in your lives left for me."

"That's ridiculous!" Malcolm exclaimed and John had to agree.

"Listen to me, Trip." Archer said. "Just because Malcolm and I have a few more things in common than we do with you doesn't mean that we don't love you, or want you."

"Consciously no." Trip agreed with that.

"Consciously or subconsciously." Malcolm insisted. "We love you Trip."

"Well, I'm gonna have to disagree with the subconscious part Malcolm, if last night was any indication."

"Trip..." That was a horrific concept and one that Malcolm disagreed with most thoroughly. He just had to convince the engineer of that fact before he could progress his argument any further Trip cut him off.

"I'm not sayin' that you both don't love me, not yet anyway. I just think it's time that we really look at our relationship because your subconscious is tryin' to tell you somethin' whether you want to admit it or not."

During the discussion Archer listened carefully and tried to look at the situation from Trip's point of view, since it was obvious that Tucker actually believed in this cockamamie theory, but finally enough was enough. "That's a bunch of bull, Trip." John finally exploded. "Malcolm and I love each other..." the glance the captain gave the armory officer proved that, then John turned his loving gaze onto the other member of his family. "But we both love you too."

"That's exactly right, Trip." Malcolm chimed in. "My subconscious has nothing whatsoever to say about the matter."

Despite the impassioned pleas, Trip was by no means convinced. "Maybe you're right..." Tucker was forced to admit, "...but I don't know that for sure, and despite what you're sayin' here, neither do you. Maybe we..." A chirp calling Tucker to the com interrupted and the engineer let his voice trail away as he slipped into a professional mask before activating the device. "Tucker here."

"Commander." Crewman Kelly's voice floated out of the speaker. She was the engineer in charge of the watch at this hour. "We're starting to get a buildup in the plasma flow of one of the secondary power couplings. I've tried every trick in the book get it to shut down but nothing seems to be working. Can you come down here, sir?"

"I'll be right there." Trip thumbed off the speaker. This didn't sound like a serious emergency, but was more like one of the many problems that the engineer faced everyday while trying to keep his temperamental, yet wonderful engine under control. Usually an annoyance, right now Trip was thrilled get handed this little puzzle. Dealing with the warp core was something he could handle. Straightening out his love life was a dilemma on a whole higher level.

But when he turned back to his lovers Tucker felt a pang of guilt because the couple looked absolutely miserable. Trip knew that he was partly to blame for their pain and gave into the urge to try to make things better. "Look, I'm not sayin' it's over..." although if he had to admit the truth to himself he was very much afraid that it was..."I'm just sayin' that we need to think things over, that's all." Tucker's attempt failed as Malcolm and John's mood refused to lighten at all. Feeling suddenly awkward, Trip gestured to the door. "I've gotta go."

"All right Trip." Malcolm said. "But I can tell you right now that nothing is going to diminish my love for you."

"Me either." John agreed. "But you have your doubts and they need to be addressed. I promise that Malcolm and I will consider very seriously what you have said, but despite our subconscious behavior, I don't think anything is going to change in the end."

"I hope so." Trip reached for the button and opened the door. "I'll see you guys tonight." He nodded to the pair, then was gone.

Malcolm and John just sat there in a stunned silence for a bit before Malcolm roused himself to speak. "John, do you really think..."

"I don't know, Malcolm. I truly don't. I love you dearly, you know that?"

"Yes I do, and I feel the same way too, but that doesn't mean that I don't love Trip as well."

"I know." Archer was sure that his love for Trip was just at intense as his love for Malcolm. Well...almost sure. The captain did find that he enjoyed his conversations with Malcolm, and that they had a lot in common, but did that closeness really have to come at Trip's expense? "Come on Malcolm, we're due on the bridge."

"Yes, sir." Reed fell into his professional attitude and followed John out of the room, but Archer knew that the armory officer's mind was on anything but business, as was his. John vowed that by the end of the alpha shift he was going to have come up with a way to prove their devotion to Trip. The only trouble was that in order to do that, he would first have to prove it to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

It turned out that they didn't have much time for pondering. As soon as Trip got to engineering he saw that the trouble was far worse than he had originally thought. The plasma leak was increasing at an exponential rate and was stubbornly resisting all of his efforts to stop it. Archer and Reed listened in from the bridge, along with the rest of the command crew, while Trip and his team worked hard to corral their wayward reactor.

"I'm tryin' to vent the plasma from the power couplin's out into space." Trip reported absently, his eyes focused on the panel before him as the engineer tried to keep the emergency from mushrooming into a full fledged disaster. "If I can manage to do that, I can keep the plasma away from the warp core, because if it hits the reactor..." Trip didn't have to say any more. It that happened it would be the end of Enterprise and all life aboard her.

Archer had to fight to keep his mouth shut. John hated the feeling of being just a helpless spectator but there were no orders he could give, nothing he could do that would help the situation any, and distracting Trip now with superfluous questions would only make matters worse. Enterprise's captain was rendered mute at this moment and the fate of his ship now lay in the hands of it's chief engineer.

Trip didn't let him down. "Got it!" He reported a few anxious minutes later. "It's diverted from the warp core."

"Yes, but I'm reading a buildup of kinetic energy behind your workstation." Kelly said, frantically.

Rostov added his plea. "You've got to move, Commander. Now!"

On the bridge John and Malcolm exchanged a horrified look. The ship was safe, but Trip was now in danger. The next few seconds would tell the story whether they would get a chance to make things up to their lover, or would they become a couple after all. Not by choice, but because they had lost someone they loved dearly.

Trip knew he had to move. If he lunged to the right he should clear most of the blast area, but if he stayed where he was the explosion would hit him full force. He would most surely be killed. In the background Trip could hear Kelly and the others pleading for him to do something. Warning him that there were only scant seconds left! If Tucker was to save his life he had to act now!

But strangely, Trip found himself hesitating. He didn't dodge to the right and safety. He deliberately stayed still. It was as if his own subconscious had made the decision for him. Rather than choosing survival, Trip decided to see what fate had in store for him. Whether he had a future or not. Trip didn't have to wait long for his answer.

Suddenly the room seemed to be bathed in a soft light. The sounds of the emergency claxon and the voices of his engineering team stilled. Trip looked around and saw everything was frozen in place. He seemed to be the only one alive. Or was it the opposite. Did the blast happen and he just didn't notice? Was he dead?

"Not yet, boyo." Trip sought to find the owner of that voice and found a kindly looking gentleman staring down at him from the catwalk above.

When Trip saw the man he burst out into a big smile. "Grandpa." Tucker rushed up the ladder and fell into the old man's arms. "It's so good to see you."

"I've missed you too, boyo." Charles Tucker the First hugged his grandson hard. It had been more than a decade since he had last seen Trip and the separation had hurt him deeply.

Trip had missed his grandfather too. So much so, that he just sat there enjoying the hug for a few minutes before the oddness of the situation finally hit him. Trip pulled back from the embrace a little and looked the elder Tucker straight in the eye. "How'd you get here, Grandpa? It must be quite a trick since you've been dead for almost twelve years now."

"I was sent here to help you out."

"Oh." Trip thought he understood now. "I guess I am dead then, and you've been sent to guide me to the other side?"

"Yes, and no." Charles the First pulled out of his grandson's embrace and led the younger Tucker to a pair of chairs nearby. "It's kinda complicated, but let me try to explain."

Trip was reminded of his childhood and sitting on the porch with his grandpa in front of their old house on the beach in Florida. He was bursting with dozens of questions, but he knew if he asked them then his grandfather would only slow down and take even longer to talk as punishment. Grandpa liked to explain things his own way and in his own time, so Trip just sat there, real quiet and let the elder Tucker run the show.

"You're not dead." Grandpa told him. "At least not yet."

He wasn't dead. Trip just let that statement bounce around the inside of his brain for a few seconds, before realizing how flat out stupid it sounded. "Look around us, Grandpa. Everybody's standin' rock still, the explosion is stopped in it's tracks and the last time I saw you was when they lowered your pine box into the ground, yet here you are, talkin' to me. So how can I be anythin' but dead?"

"It's kinda hard to explain." Grandpa sighed, thinking of how to put it. "You're in a holdin' pattern boyo. You've got a choice to make and I'm here to help you make the right one."

"A choice?" Trip thought about the situation for a moment, then he got it. "You're talkin' about the explosion, aren't you?"

Grandpa nodded. "You coulda saved yourself, you know, by divin' out of the way, yet you still hesitated. Why?"

Now that was the mother of all rhetorical questions. "I'm thinkin' you know the answer to that one."

Grandpa sighed, nodded, and moved closer to his grandson. "Are you really sure that John and Malcolm don't love you? So sure that you're willin' to give up your own life."

"No I'm not sure." Frustrated, Trip started pacing as an outlet to his excess energy. "I know John and Malcolm did love me, and I know they think they still do. It's just that Malcolm is so much like John, and even though Johnny and I have been friends forever, Malcolm is...well..."

The elder Tucker, wise with a fountain of romantic experience that he'd gained in his hundred years of life, knew exactly what the problem was. "New and exciting? So new, in fact, that you don't think that John would be interested in the 'old and comfortable' you anymore?"

Trip was nodding frantically before his grandfather even finished talking. "That's it exactly. Why would Johnny wanna hang around me when he's got Malcolm, a drop dead sexy guy, and a smart one to boot to fulfill all his needs and why would Malcolm want me when John pretty much fits the definition of his soul mate? I just keep gettin' in the way."

The elder Tucker made no effort to hide his intense disappointment in his grandson. "You've really sold yourself a bill of goods this time, boyo."

That riled up Trip's defenses. "Have not!" The engineer protested. "I'm just protectin' myself from the pain that I know is comin'."

"When John and Malcolm dump you, you mean?" Grandpa may have asked the question but that didn't mean he was buying into Trip's scenario, but Trip seemed to think that the old man understood.

"Exactly. I couldn't stand it if I had to just stand around and watch Johnny and Malcolm love each other without me bein' involved. It would just hurt too much."

"So you think it'll improve the situation if you just check out of life right now?"

Grandpa's disappointment had ratcheted right up into disapproval and that pushed Trip's anger up another notch. "It'll make things easier on me if I don't hafta stick around to watch."

"Oh, you'll have to watch all right." Grandpa took Trip's arm and started to guide him to the catwalk above.

"Whatcha talking about, Grandpa?"

"You have doubts that the people you love really love you in return, and those doubts are strong enough that, a part of you at least, is willin' to end your life rather than face the pain that you fear is real, but you're actin' on your feelin's, boyo, not the facts. If you wanna kill yourself, then fine, but that's a real important decision, one where you can't go and change your mind later once it's done. You need to base your choice on facts, not feelin's, and that's why I'm here."

Trip listened to the argument. He always knew his grandpa was a wise man and Tucker was always willing to listen to his council. "Whatcha gonna do?"

"I'm gonna help you learn the truth of the situation, then you can make your decision, the right decision."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"By showin' you what life would be like if you choose that final path." By this time Trip and his grandfather were perched far above the floor in engineering and grandpa pointed to the floor below. "Watch."

Trip looked down and he could see...himself perched in front of his workstation once again. Then Tucker heard a revving sound and the frozen tableau below suddenly surged into life. Time was running again.

Trip watched himself as the Tucker on the floor frantically tried to divert the overload. "I'm trying to vent the plasma from the power couplin's out into space." Trip couldn't help but admire his counterpart's efficiency as he worked to save Enterprise from disaster and after a few seconds Tucker exclaimed, "Got it! It's diverted from the warp core."

"Yes, but I'm reading a buildup of kinetic energy behind your workstation." Kelly reported, frantically.

Rostov added his plea. "You've got to move, Commander. Now!"

Trip watched as this time his other self just stood in front of the panel and let it blow. The explosion caught Tucker full in the chest and knocked him clear across the room. The engineering team went into action immediately. While Rostov called for the doctor, Kelly rushed to Tucker's side to give what first aid she could, but the engineer gasped in horror when she saw Tucker. The commander had suffered massive injuries, far beyond anything she could do to help.

Tucker was conscious, barely, but he was in shock and not really tracking his surroundings. Seconds later Phlox arrived and the doctor was greatly alarmed when he saw the severity of Tucker's wounds, but he didn't let his dismay keep him from working to try and save the injured man. He quickly hooked Tucker up to a heart monitoring device, which beeped weakly. Tucker, sinking into shock now and barely registered the doctor's presence.

Trip was watching all the action below as if he was just an interested spectator. It hadn't really connected to him that this was his life that was being unveiled below him, that he could be the one laying there nearly at death. It was as if he was watching some play, a performance where he was merely a member of the audience, not a participant.

His interest heightened a little when he saw John and Malcolm run into the room. The Tucker on the ground perked up as well and the wounded man managed to gather his wits enough around him to give his partners a small smile.

"Trip." Horrified at the amount of injuries inflicted on his lover, Archer eased himself as close as possible to Tucker, without actually getting in the way of the doctor's work. "Trip, I love you." Archer said desperately, well aware that time may be limited.

"I love you too." Malcolm edged in front of Archer and took Tucker's hand in his. "Don't leave us." The armory officer pleaded.

All Tucker could do was smile at the two men he loved most, then the light of life left his eyes. The beeping of the heart monitor mutated into a steady shrill tone, and Tucker's body sagged against Archer and was still.

"No!" Malcolm cried, frantic in his movements, roughly pushing and shoving against Tucker's inert body which was no longer able to respond to his touch. "You can't die, you just can't!"

While Malcolm raged in a desperate attempt to keep Tucker with them John just sat there numb. Then, when he was finally able to summon his courage, the captain raised his head and exchanged a desperate look with Phlox. The doctor's expression told him the truth. John snaked his arm around Malcolm and held him tight. "He's gone, Malcolm. Trip's gone."

"No." Still in denial Malcolm continued to push Tucker for a minute, before finally giving in and collapsing over Tucker's body. Right now the armory officer didn't care about appearances. Didn't care if the rest of the crew saw the usually reserved and proper Englishman lose it. Right now the only thing that mattered was that Trip was dead, and the pain of that fact was overwhelming.

John wasn't immune either. He freely allowed his tears to fall and he too leaned down to be closer to Tucker, rubbing Malcolm's back and crying as the pair tried to deal with the devastating fact that someone they loved was lost to them forever.

Standing far above, Trip was rocked by the emotional tableau that was displayed below him. While horrified by the fact that his lovers were hurting so much, and more than a little guilty because Trip knew that he was the source of their pain, it was one other aspect of the scene that began to bother the engineer the most. One he carefully pointed out to his Grandfather. "There...see. John's got Malcolm wrapped up all ready. The two of them are movin' closer together and I've only been dead less than a minute. Why I bet they're gonna get married in less than a year, now that I'm outta the picture."

Grandpa's eyes lit up a bit on that. "Oh, you'd like to bet, would ya." The elder Tucker was amused. "Well I'd like to take you up on that boyo, but I'm afraid that I've gotta unfair advantage. I know how this particular future's gonna play out, and if I took on that particular wager you're definitely gonna lose."

"What?" Trip ripped his glance from his grandfather and returned it to the scene below. They were just moving his body out of the room and both John and Malcolm were still locked together in a tight embrace, comforting and leaning on each other. Trip couldn't imagine any other couple more suited towards one another or one that loved each other more than Malcolm and John did, so..."What the hell are you talkin' about, Grandpa? What do you mean I'd lose?"

For an answer Charles Tucker the First simply smiled and held out his hand. "Come on. I'll show you."

Stilling his verbal questions, Trip did what he was told. Trip trusted that his grandfather knew what was best for him, so when Trip clasped his grandfather's hand within his own the two disappeared into a blue mist.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as the old man's fingers closed in over his own the engine room dissolved and faded from all around him, but before Trip could find out what was happening a new set of walls solidified in their place and the engineer found himself, standing in, what could only be the den of a small house. There was a dog sleeping on the round rug that was placed before a roaring fire, also an easy chair was positioned within easy reach of the warmth of the hearth. Trip looked around but there was no sign of his grandfather and for a few seconds Tucker thought he was alone in the room, then Trip realized that someone was in the chair.

Tucker was off to one side, so he couldn't immediately identify the figure who was quietly reading his paper. The only illumination, other than the firelight, was coming from a floor lamp next to the chair which only gave out a dim glow, so Trip shifted his position in order to get a better view. Somehow, instinctively, Tucker knew that the person in the chair wouldn't be able to see him, much less arrest him for breaking and entering, Trip was halfway dead, after all. If a fellow couldn't traipse around a stranger's living room unseen when he was half dead, well then, when could he?

Still, Tucker couldn't help but let out a tiny gasp when he was finally able to catch sight of the chair's occupant. Although the man had wrinkles of age sculpting new mountains and valley's up and down on his features, the profile was all too familiar. Malcolm Reed had grown "old" and the sight of it broke Trip's heart. Not because the figure before him was further along in years than the young lover that Trip had known, but because the spirit within the man that Tucker loved so deeply seemed to have been lost, somehow.

Trip was used to seeing the bundle of energy that was Malcolm, even though most of it was wrapped up in an elegant and proper demeanor, and Tucker had always pictured his lover aging gracefully, while maintaining his vigor and lust for life all the while, but this person sitting before him looked like a caricature of the man he knew. This Malcolm Reed appeared to be shrunken as if there was nothing inside himself, leaving only a twisted and empty shell behind. Trip wondered how he could have gotten such a strong impression from simply a glance, but the opening of a door interrupted further observations of his former lover.

A blast of cold preceded the entrance of young, dark haired man, who couldn't have been more than nineteen or twenty years of age. Trip got a glimpse of the visitor's nature when the man shook all the excess snow off of his coat, before carefully hanging it up in the closet. Reed, however, barely acknowledged the arrival and Trip thought he noticed a burst of nervous energy flash across the youth's face before the young man gathered up his courage enough to approach Reed. Malcolm, who had yet to put down his paper, appeared to be barely tolerating the hesitant approach of the younger man to his side.

"Father..." Nope. Trip hadn't imagined the nerves. The boy's voice actually shook when he spoke. Trip didn't know what was more startling. That Reed had a son, or that the boy was scared to death of him.

"What is it, Clive?" Malcolm's tone was rough and firm and totally lacked any warmth or affection. Trip knew that his lover had troubles with his own father, but most of Malcolm's stiffness and cool demeanor had begun to melt under his and John's love. What had happened?

The boy nervously shuffled his feet before finally beginning to speak. "I just wanted to let you know, Father, that I just got word that my application has been accepted."

"That's wonderful, Clive." Although Reed didn't actually crack a smile, he did manage to put down his paper. "The Royal Navy will do wonders for your career, son, you'll see."

"Ah, Father..." Trip could see that Clive's nervousness migrated right up into terror. Tucker wondered if the boy was actually going to turn tail and run, but Clive forced him self to stand his ground and faced the nemesis that was one Malcolm Reed. "It's not the Royal Navy, sir. I've joined Starfleet."

"What!" Reed roared, leaping to his feet. For one, heart stropping moment Trip thought that he was going to actually assault the boy. Clive obviously did too because he quickly flinched back out of Reed's reach. Malcolm didn't let him get far and shoved Clive hard against the wall, before positing himself only inches away from his son's face. "I told you that Starfleet wasn't for you. What made you possibly think that I would allow you to disobey my wishes on this matter."

"But..." Clive obviously wanted to sound strong here, but his voice came out more like a squeak rather than a roar. "I wanted to explore..."

"Bosh!" Reed cut him off, pushing in even closer, reinforcing his authority. "The allure of exploration is highly overrated. You'll be wasting your time. Believe you me, you'll be much better off in the navy instead of chasing some astral willow wisps all around the quadrant."

"But Penelope got accepted too. She's being assigned to Jupiter Station. I want to go with her. I want us to be together."

That surprised Reed, who pushed back a little. "You want to be together?" He mimicked. "Why?"

"Be...because I love her."

The confession hung in the air for a moment, then both Clive and Trip were surprised when Reed actually laughed. A small, humorless snort, but a laugh never the less. "Love. That's highly overrated too." Reed roughly shoved himself away from his son and began to pace the room. "Exploration. Love. Take my word for it, son, the pursuit of both will only bring you pain. You'd be far better off to follow my example. Marry a proper woman and settle down to a stress free life. It may not be exciting or passionate, but you won't suffer nearly as much in the end."

Trip was floored. Malcolm Reed that he knew had a passion for living, that once unwrapped from it's proper shell, unleashed a firestorm of laughter and enthusiasm for romance and exploration that couldn't be squelched. Or at least Trip thought it couldn't. What had happened to turn the energetic dynamo that he had loved, into this hollowed out...scrooge?

"You happened, boyo."

Tucker the First's voice was harsh in his ear and Trip turned around to face him. "I thought you'd left me, Grandpa."

The old man's face dissolved into a smile. "Never, boyo." He said, before directing Trip's attention back to Malcolm and his son. "But did you grasp what I was tryin' to show you here?"

Trip nodded. "Malcolm fought his whole life to avoid endin' just like his father, but he just gave up and let history repeat itself. That's what happened, isn't it?"

Grandpa nodded. "Malcolm couldn't take it when you died, Trip. Oh, he and John tried to make a go of it, but everywhere they looked there was a reminder of you, that made the pain of their loss that much more unbearable. After awhile it became a wound that would never heal. Even when they were together, you were always in the way. They managed to remain a couple for about a year, then finally parted for good. Malcolm gave up on everythin' he believed in and ended up like that..." Grandpa gestured to the stern taskmaster who was repeating the same mistakes to yet another Reed generation..."because you weren't there to keep him the right path, boyo. He needed you and you let him down."

Trip winced at the hard words, but he knew his grandpa wasn't hurting him on purpose. He had to be shown this, Trip knew that now, but there was still more that he needed to know. "What about Johnny, Grandpa? What happened to John?"

Trip's grandfather hesitated. His face more grim than Trip had ever seen it. "It's gonna be hard to see, boyo."

"Harder than this?" How could it be harder than the reality Trip had faced with the Reed's here today, so the engineer's heart sank when his grandfather nodded.

"I know you're strong enough to take it, boyo." Tucker the first said, reaching out to take Trip's hand. "But remember, I'm always here for you. I'll help you through it."

Trip wanted to run away. To spare himself from whatever horrors his grandfather had to show him. Still, Trip knew that he had to face this future and as he took his grandfather's hand in his own, and as the walls began to dissolve around him again, at least Trip knew that they would face it together.


	4. Chapter 4

Trip found himself at the mouth of a windswept alley. The small roadway was full of paper, boxes and garbage which was piled up everywhere, and the stench...Trip may have had one foot in the grave but his sense of smell was still working just fine, although after one whiff Trip wished it wasn't. What was he doing standing at the entrance to such a dump? Surely this had to be a mistake. Johnny couldn't possibly have anything to do with this horrible place, could he?

Trip looked around and found that his grandfather was right behind him and after Grandpa's encouraging nod Tucker turned back toward the alley. Even though he wasn't sure what he was supposed to look for, Trip started forward.

At first he couldn't make out any definite shapes among the rubble, the light was too dim because the weak late afternoon sunlight wasn't fully able to filter through the partially gray clouds that filled the sky that day. As Trip inched closer a puff of breeze blew a sheet of paper across his path. Tucker followed it's route of travel and watched as it landed on a oblong sack of garbage. It was only when Trip got within a few feet of the object that he realized, to his horror, that the sack was not garbage laying spread out on the ground but a man, a drunk by the smell of him, wearing clothes so rumpled and dirty that it was no wonder that Tucker first mistook them for trash.

The sight sickened Trip. His society had come a long way in solving the needs of the poor and destitute and there was help for everyone who wanted it, but there were always a few hapless victims who's souls were so wounded and their hope so shattered that they refused all assistance, content to wallow in their self pity. The wretched creature that lay before him was one such casualty. Then Trip remembered why he was here and a certain kind of dread coursed through him of the like that he had never felt before. No...It couldn't be...

Trip wanted to run away from this place, afraid to confirm the horror that he had all ready guessed, but he wouldn't, couldn't. That's why Grandpa brought him here, so he could know. So Trip fought down the fear that filled him and inched forward.

Slowly, oh so slowly he crept closer and closer until he could make out the outline of a leg, bent at an angle, then the image a torso became more defined despite the hazy graying of the light. The man was laying on his stomach, Trip saw, with one of his hands clutching a brown paper bag which obviously contained a bottle inside. Then Tucker's gaze finally reached the man's head. The drunk's face was turned away from Trip so his features weren't immediately apparent, but the hair, although dirty, was a very familiar sandy blond.

Trip's heart lurched. Could he bear to see the features of the face that was now hidden from view? But how could he not? Suddenly Trip couldn't stand the suspense any longer. Tucker forced his feet to move from their frozen stance and the engineer shuffled around the prostate form.

Trip gasped when he finally caught a look at that face. He had been hoping against hope that he would end up seeing a stranger but unfortunately those features were all too familiar. Trip intimately remembered caressing those cheeks, now covered with dirt, kissing those lips with his own, lips that were chapped and all traces of their former suppleness was gone, lost to time and the booze, but the absolute worst was the eyes. They were tightly shut when Trip first saw them but just then another gust of breeze sent an old can skittering across the pavement and the eyes opened. For one moment Trip really wished that he was dead because those hazel-green eyes that the engineer had spent long hours gazing into were now clouded, not only by what has obviously been years of alcoholic abuse, but there was absolutely no life, no joy within them. The body of Jonathan Archer may have been still living, but the spirit within him was dead.

Trip was flat out horrified by what he saw. How could Jonathan Archer, the greatest, bravest man that he had ever known end up like this? As Tucker asked himself this question he wiped tears from his cheeks. Odd, he thought, here he was, existing in a sort of limbo and he was still able to cry. Then Tucker realized that he was drifting, trying to avoid the main point so Trip pushed the inconsequential trivia from his mind and sought out his grandfather. When the elder Tucker was by his side Trip asked only one question. "What happened?"

"You happened, Boyo." Came the not unexpected answer. "Johnny's love for exploration and the unknown died when you did Trip and losin' Malcolm was just the final nail in his coffin. Archer refused to take command of Enterprise when the starship started out on her second cruise. John knew how much you treasured each new discovery you saw and he just couldn't bear the thought of explorin' such wonders on his own."

"Damn it, Johnny." Trip whispered while wiping his eyes of the image of the drunken figure stirring at his feet. "I thought you were stronger than this. How could you end up this way?"

"You were his strength, Trip. Without you and Malcolm, Archer just floundered. Oh he puttered around Starfleet, tryin' one command after another, but nothin' seemed to fill the void in his life. Finally he gave up tryin' and ended up here."

"Johnny." Trip whispered through his tears. "What have I done?" The sound of a siren interrupted Tucker's revive and Trip looked up to see a police car hover into view. "Oh, God."

Trip watched in horror as two police officers exited the car and started to hassle his Johnny. "Hey, Rummy!" One of the officer's yelled. "You know you're not supposed to sleep here."

"Whazzat?" Startled awake Archer's booze filled mind couldn't comprehend what the police were saying to him or obey them when they ordered him to stand.

This, in turn, infuriated the officers. "Come on, Rummy. A night in the lockup ought to sober you right up."

"Hey!" The officer's roughly pulled Archer to his feet, so roughly that John lost his grip on his booze and the precious bottle fell to the ground, the glass smashing into dozens of tiny pieces and the alcohol spilling all over the uneven pavement "No!" The officers ignored his protest and roughly started hauling Archer to the squad car that was hovering a few inches above the ground. "You can't do this!" John protested, his words slurring together. "I'm the captain of the Enterprise."

"Yeah, sure." One of the officer's scoffed. "You're the captain of the finest ship that humanity has ever made?" The cop ran her gaze over the squalid, dirty excuse of a human staggering, his weight all but supported by her and her partner. Starfleet's finest this guy was not. "I don't think so."

"No, really. I am Jonathan Archer." Archer continued to plead his case as the cops continued to drag him toward the car. "I'm one of the greatest captain's that Starfleet has ever known!"

"Un huh." The cop placated. This guy just bought himself a one way ticket to the nearest psycho ward, that was for sure.

"No, no, no." Trip muttered to himself, his trickle of tears turning into a stream now. "This can't be happenin'. It isn't real."

"It isn't real, boyo." Grandpa Tucker said while he placed a comforting hand on Trip's shoulder. "At least not yet."

"What?" Trip whirled around to face his grandfather, latching onto that piece of hope. "You mean I can undo this? Keep it from happenin'?"

"Of course you can." Grandpa had to fight to keep from chuckling. Obviously Trip had gotten so worked up, he'd forgotten why he'd been brought here. "And you know how, too."

"I do?" What was Grandpa talking about? Then Trip calmed down enough to remember. "Oh, yeah...Grandpa..."

Trip gave his grandfather a look filled full of such hope and life that the elder Tucker knew that his mission had been successful. "You're makin' the right decision, boyo."

"Yeah, I know." Trip smiled lovingly at his grandfather before pulling the old man into a huge hug. "I'm gonna miss you somethin' fierce though."

"We'll see each other again." The elder Tucker assured him. "When the time is right."

"I know we will." Trip pulled back a little and looked his grandfather deep into the eyes. "Thanks for everythin'."

"It's my pleasure, boyo." Grandpa Tucker held the gaze for a moment before roughly pulling out of Trip's embrace. "Come on now." The older Tucker said gruffly, clapping his grandson on the back in order to hide his emotions. "Let's get you home."

Home. Trip liked the sound of that.


	5. Chapter 5

Seconds later Trip found himself standing in front of his console in engineering, successfully diverting power away from the warp core. History was repeating itself. Trip may have just saved the ship, but he put himself in jeopardy once again.

And once again Kelly was the first to see the danger. "I'm reading a buildup of kinetic energy behind your workstation!"

Rostov added his plea. "You've got to move, Commander. Now!"

This time Trip didn't hesitate. He lunged to his right, throwing most of his body clear just as the workstation exploded. Unfortunately he didn't get his left arm out of the way fast enough and it got caught in the blast, catching Trip's sleeve up in a burst of flame and burning his skin. "Damn it!" Trip cursed out his pain as he crashed onto the deck.

"Sir!" Rostov rushed to Trip's side and fought to put out the fire that was raging up Trip's arm as Kelly ran for the intercom to summon the doctor. "Are you all right?"

Trip thought that was an extremely stupid question to ask while he was writhing on the floor. "No I'm not all right. It hurts like a sonofabitch." Tucker yelled, cradling his injured appendage carefully. Despite his pain, Trip knew he shouldn't snap at Rostov, there was somebody else much more deserving of the blame. "You didn't tell me it was gonna hurt this much, Grandpa!"

"Sir?" Trip heard a whispered chuckle over Rostov's inquiry. The elder Tucker knew that Trip's burn was minor so he was free to enjoy Trip's discomfort. Payback for Tucker getting into this situation in the first place.

Trip muttered a few more good natured curses at the aforementioned grandparent when Phlox arrived with his very welcome hypo. The spray hissed and Trip felt himself relax as the pain ebbed away. Man, that felt good. Then John and Malcolm arrived which made Trip feel even better. "I'm all right guys." Tucker tried to appease his worried lovers but his attempt failed when he yelped in pain when Phlox touched his arm. Before he could try again the doc hit Trip with another hypo and all the lights went out.

* * *

The soothing sound of beeping sang to Trip as the engineer swam his way out of the darkness and into the light and Trip woke up with complete clarity of thought. He knew exactly where he was and what had happened. Tucker glanced to his left and found that his arm was trussed up like a mummy in white gauze, but Tucker felt no pain. The doctor's pharmaceuticals must have taken good care of that, then Trip tilted his head to the right and smiled at what he saw. There sat his lovers, each asleep in their own uncomfortable chair, each hunched up in a twisted stance in which they must have sat for hours. It warmed Trip to his very soul as he cherished this latest example of his guy's love, but he couldn't let them suffer any longer. Trip reached for Malcolm, who was the closest, and shook him. "Hey, Malcolm. Wake up." When all Tucker got for his trouble was a grumpy murmur from his lover, Trip shook again, harder and raised his voice. "Malcolm, Johnny. Wake up!"

That was enough. Malcolm's eyes flew open and when he saw that Trip was awake his joyful cries woke John as well.

Despite their pleasure at his awakening Trip could see that they were still upset. "Hey, guys, don't worry, I'm gonna be fine."

"We know you will, Trip." John reached for Tucker's hand while Malcolm caressed his uninjured arm.

The armory officer's eyes glistened in a rare display of emotion. "We just were afraid that we were going to lose you, that's all. "

"Not a chance." Of that Trip was certain. His grandfather had worked hard for this and Trip wasn't going to let the old man down now. "I've got it on a high authority."

His guys didn't know what the heck he was talking about, of course, but it didn't matter. Trip was going to be okay and that was the only important thing. Well...not the only thing. John's smile faded as he recalled other, more disturbing events. "Look Trip, about yesterday..."

"Johnny..." Trip began. "You don't have to..."

"No, Trip." This time it was Malcolm who cut him off. "Let John speak, please?"

Trip was wanting to spare his lovers this but the engineer realized that he couldn't explain his change of heart without bringing his grandpa into the mix and if he told them about his little visits to the future, a future that wasn't gonna happen now, thank god, they would think he had gone nuts! So Trip just nodded and relaxed. Content to let John and Malcolm find a way out of this for all of them.

John tightened his grip on Trip's hand and began the speech he had been mentally rehearsing all night. "Trip, yesterday you asked Malcolm and I to really examine our relationship and over the last few hours we've done just that and after careful consideration we have reached a conclusion."

"And that is?" If Trip hadn't had advance knowledge he would have been nervous, but as it was Tucker just let Archer talk, but it was Malcolm who spoke up next.

"I know you think that sometimes you're an obstacle to John and I growing closer, but the reality of the situation is just the opposite, you're the glue that binds us together."

"That's right, Trip." John moved to buttress up Malcolm's argument. "Without you to love us we'd fall apart. We can't exist without you, lover." John edged in closer, desperate to clinch the argument. "You've got to believe us Trip!"

The worried faces of his companions made Trip's heart sing because this was another example of how much John and Malcolm really loved him, but he couldn't stand to see them suffer any longer. "I believe you, Johnny, I really do. I know you guy's love me and I love you too. I guess I was bein' silly yesterday."

Malcolm tightened his grip. "Do you really believe that Trip?"

"I do." Trip tried to make it sound like a wedding vow, which in a sense it was. "I'm not gonna leave you guys. Not now. Not ever."

Two sets of eyes misted at the proclamation but John found his voice first. "You'd better not." He admonished.

"Yes, Trip." Malcolm added. "You gave us quite a scare there in engineering."

"I know I did. I'm sorry." Trip felt bad about the pain he caused them but he was glad that it happened because know he knew, KNEW in his heart the truth. "I promise you guys that I am I gonna be more careful from now on and you know why.?" His wonderful duo just shook their heads so Trip went on, determined to make the moment perfect. "Cause I've got to much to live for to check out now. I know we three are gonna be together for a whole lotta years, years and I'm really lookin' forward to it because I'm gonna spend them all with you."

That was all the guys needed to hear. Each leaned forward to kiss Trip in turn, and that night after he was sprung from sickbay, Trip lay in the middle of John's bed, sandwiched between his lovers. John wasn't curled up quite as tight as Malcolm out of deference to Trip's injury, but was as close as he could get without hurting Trip and Tucker was far from in pain. For the first time in months he was able to fall asleep with the worry in his heart stilled. As he was just about to drop off Trip thought he heard a quiet, deep chuckle. Yes, Grandpa, everything was gonna be all right now, thanks to you. The chuckle faded away, but Trip knew that his grandpa would be with him, along with his lovers. Yes indeed, everything was gonna be just fine now.


End file.
